A Mother’s Guide To Teaching Kids Respect

If you want your children to become kind, empathetic, and likable adults… it’s pivotal that you learn the art of teaching kids respect. Because, while basic respect for our fellow humans is at the core of most upstanding people, kids don’t naturally know how to be respectful (or why they should be) without you teaching them.

So throughout this guide, I’m going to take you through a few main ways that you can teach your kids how to respect other people. And although it’s ideal to start the process of teaching your children respect early, most of these tips can be implemented at any point. It’s never too late!

Step One – Remember That Children Learn By Watching

There’s a reason why so much parenting advice boils down to “lead by example”… And it’s because children truly do learn by watching what other’s do. Which is why the whole “do as I say and not as I do” thing is not very effective.

This means that telling your children to respect other people is pointless, if you’re not also going to model that behavior. And this doesn’t just mean respecting people you meet out in public. This means respecting your spouse even during arguments, respecting your kids even though they’re young, and respecting yourself!

For instance, I always made sure that my girls felt respected growing up. Despite the fact that some of our close family didn’t necessarily agree with it! I didn’t let them run the house by any means; but I did take their feelings into account, let them discuss their feelings whenever they needed to, and allowed them to form their own opinions of the world.

These basic forms of respect might seem simple enough, but you have to remember that children miss nothing! So they’ll file away all of these experiences, even if it’s on a subconscious level. And it could really have an effect on how they turn out.

Step Two – Eliminate Entitlement, As This Is The Enemy Of Respect

One aspect of teaching kids respect that’s often overlooked is ensuring they don’t become entitled. And I believe this happens because entitlement is often seen as a completely different issue. When a child is entitled, the term most commonly used to describe them is “spoiled” and not “disrespectful”.

But feeling entitled is inherently a disrespectful thing, at least in most cases… So if you’re noticing one of these things in your child, chances are… you’ll notice the other as well. And therefore, eliminating entitlement is a great way to teach your child more respect.

A few great ways to do this is to…

• Give your child a list of age-appropriate chores or tasks they need to complete, which they receive no reward for. Of course, you can give your child an allowance for some of their efforts (and I encourage that). But some things should be done just because they’re part of a family unit, or just for themselves in order to grow.
• Remind them to thank everyone that does something for them. Obviously this means thanking those who do something nice for them or give them a gift, but it also means teaching them to be thankful for more commonly overlooked things… Like feeling grateful towards their teachers, or service industry workers, etc!
• And not giving them everything they want. I know it’s so tempting to spoil your children with everything they could ever want, if you have the funds to do so. But it’s never good for a child to receive all their wants, as they wish for them.

Step Three – Swiftly Correct Disrespect

Even if you do everything you can to teach your kids respect, sometimes they still display disrespectful behavior when they’re young. And when this happens, it’s a great opportunity to have a learning moment!

For instance, if your child uses a disrespectful tone with you… Try to explain to them why what they did was wrong. Because once they really understand why what they did was disrespectful, they’ll think twice before they do it again. At least… in most cases. And if your child doesn’t get it at first, keep at it until they do.

Additionally, you may need to show them that there are consequences to their actions. Like, if they act disrespectful in public, then you go home and they no longer get to experience the outing. Obviously, punishment isn’t necessary in every case. And it really depends on the level of disrespect that you see.

But the important thing is that you don’t allow your child to get away with disrespect on a regular basis. Without stepping in to tell them that behavior is wrong. Because that’s how disrespect becomes a habit. Which is the opposite of what we want!

Final Thoughts About Teaching Kids Respect

Among the many things that parents need to teach their children, I think respect ranks as one of the most important. As it’s at the core of kind, empathetic people. So I hope this guide contained something that can help anyone reading this in their parenting journey. And thank you for reading!

If you’re interested in learning more about parenting, running a house, or managing finances… please check out some of my other content.