A Guide To Gentle Sleep Training

If there’s one thing that almost every mother has heard once during her journey, it’s “just let them cry it out”. And personally, I always hated hearing this sentence! I didn’t want to let my baby cry it out, and if you clicked on this post, I doubt you do either… So today we’re going to talk about gentle sleep training; which is a much-needed alternative.

Note – This post is not meant to shame other mothers, who may choose to sleep train their babies with the “cry it out” method. But simply to provide other options for moms who, like me, don’t want to take that path for themselves.

What is sleep training?

The term “sleep training” refers to a process where you teach a baby or toddler to fall (and stay) asleep on their own. And there are many different sleep training methods out there.

But one of the most well known techniques is to just let your child cry until they eventually learn to self soothe or fall asleep from exhaustion. The thought here is that you’re simply giving the baby the tools it needs to sleep through the night on its own.

Regardless of the specific method, this process is typically started when the baby is four to six months old. As this is old enough to go a full night without feedings.

What is “gentle” sleep training?

With that broad definition out of the way, let’s talk about “gentle” sleep training. This is actually an umbrella term for several different methods (all of which we’ll get into throughout this post) but the main goal is the same… To teach your baby to sleep through the night on its own without all the crying, by taking things more slowly.

3 Ways To Gently Sleep Train Your Baby

“The Chair” Technique

The first gentle sleep training method I have for you is called “The Chair” method. And it entails sitting close to your baby’s crib while they fall asleep. This gives your child the security that you’re in the room, but you’re not nursing them, holding them, etc. (You can gently pat them, or verbally soothe them if you need to.)

Once they’re asleep, you can simply leave the room. And if they wake up at any point during the night, you can return to the chair and sit beside them until they fall asleep again. Then… as they get used to you being beside them but not holding them, you can start to gradually move the chair further away from the crib.

Eventually, this should result in a sleep trained baby! And you’ll have the assurance that your baby knew you were there the whole time. However, this process can take about three weeks! So it’s quite a time investment.

The “Scheduled Awakenings” Technique

Secondly, you could try the “scheduled awakenings” technique. Specifically if you note that your baby wakes up at approximately the same time every night. Because this knowledge is necessary to execute the method properly.

With this technique, you figure out which times your baby tends to wake up throughout the night. Then you set your alarm for about fifteen to thirty minutes before that time, waking them up a bit earlier than they would naturally awaken. You proceed to get them back to bed as normal (with holding, nursing, or whatever is needed), and repeat this process for the entire night.

After a bit of doing this, you can slowly start extending the amounts of time between waking up your baby. And after a few weeks, they should be sleeping through the entire night! This method works for some, because it allows you to take control over when your baby wakes and sleeps; versus the other way around.

Much like the chair method, this one takes some time. And it can be quite difficult to make yourself wake a sleeping baby. But because you can soothe them back to sleep in any way you need to, it can be less emotionally taxing than letting them cry it out.

The “Pick Up, Put Down” Technique

Finally, we have the most gentle sleep training method of all… The classic “pick up, put down” technique. This is more or less what I did with my kids, as it involves almost no crying at all. Albeit, at the cost of a lot of your time and patience as a parent.

Essentially, you just keep picking up your baby whenever they cry and then putting them down as soon as they’re calm. But the key is to walk straight out of the room every time you successfully soothe them. Instead of waiting around to see if they’ll fully fall asleep.

At first, this is going to result in you being on your feet a lot and picking them up for potentially dozens of times per night. But over time (usually several weeks) your baby will eventually start to require less pick ups.

Bonus Tips For Gentle Sleep Training

Now, regardless of which technique you end up going with… Here are a few broad tips for all types of gentle sleep training…

• “Slow and steady wins the race!” This saying has never been more true than in regards to gentle sleep training. Because sudden changes are only going to make it harder for your baby to adjust to sleeping without you in the room. And if you see progress, and try to skip a few steps (no matter how tempting that might be) you’re risking all the progress you’ve made so far.
• Stay 100% consistent. I know it can be tough to stay completely consistent with sleep training… Especially when you’re exhausted! But keeping your baby on the exact same schedule is key. Both during bedtime, and before it. Routines are your friend during this time, as they will let your baby know exactly what to expect.
• Pay attention to your baby’s reactions. You know your baby better than anyone, and you can use this to your advantage during sleep training. For instance, you know what times they typically get sleepy; so try and get them in bed at that time. And don’t try to force them to fall asleep before they’re ready. Additionally, learn which of your baby’s sounds you need to respond to. Not everything is a cry that needs your attention, sometimes babies will simply whimper while self soothing and then immediately fall back asleep themselves.

Final Thoughts On Gentle Sleep Training

Every situation, baby, and parent is different. So you may need to try out more than one sleep training method in order to find one that works for you and your child. But I hope this article supplied you with some valuable information to use on your journey! Good luck!